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Next you're going to ask me why I bribe my congressman. - 10 Dec 2008 10:44 pm Log In or Register to Remove Ads First    Previous  Archive   Next    Newest   Buy this strip as Original Copy or Greeting Card

Email this comic to a friend! [Archive] 204 - And when I hit you it does no damage. 203 - At level 5 you learn Point out flaws in the game. 202 - Other guy has got some moves on him. 201 - I wonder where this joke is headed. Get it? hahahahahhaha 200 - Unemployment checks, baby. 199 - Watercoolers are the new hobo fire. 198 - Here's a tip, don't leave your chairs unattended. 197 - There was a merger at the police station. 196 - Free pizza 195 - I've got 99 problems and this lobster is among them. 194 - I'm totally starting it. 193 - Oh, great I won a stupid vacation. 192 - I don't need your evil god. 191 - Dating Advice: Give compliments 190 - Dating Advice: Be honest 189 - Dating Advice: Play with their heads. 188 - Dating Advice: Play hard to get. 187 - Dating Advice: Make things clear. 186 - Obedience classes are so expensive. 185 - Man, I look dumb. 184 - Or it could be the best thing ever. 183 - The office 9 to 5. 182 - Is that a yes or no? 181 - You don't deserve lucky numbers. 180 - Lucky Numbers: 8 95 23 4 52 179 - Instead of lucky numbers it just says 2:34 PM. 178 - Lucky Numbers: 5 4 3 2 1 ... 177 - Lucky Numbers: 3 45 7 15 6 4 176 - Right? 175 - Where are you buying your cereal? 174 - Where there's smoke, there's something something. 173 - Not everyone wearing a stethoscope is a doctor. 172 - And I'm pretty sure that penny is company property. 171 - And thus ends the twice as much work for me saga. 170 - He's a Doctor now again, I guess. 169 - A doctor is a type of scientist. 168 - 44? 167 - Four? 166 - The mystery of this ladder. 165 - The single greatest human creation. 164 - I thought I was in a huge backyard. 163 - Dude, I love my shovel too, but sleeping with it? 162 - I could really use a backrub. 161 - Does this mean they are normally naked? 160 - You found: Batman Pajamas. Put them on? 159 - We all wish he was Batman. 158 - Hamburger is to Mouth as Hot Dog is to ? 157 - It's fun to draw dynamite. 156 - Have a nice trip, call me when you get there. Wait I got that wrong. 155 - The things we call things don't change the things that we call. 154 - Before you ask, he's in the middle behind the doctor. 153 - Hey are you guys talking about violins? 152 - Wait, what? 151 - Is this really the best way to tell me that you killed my dog? 150 - Unless you have the Verizon Aquaman Plan. 149 - I'm definitely not voting for unicorn reform. 148 - On Expectations 147 - Slingshot Migration: A Rubber Bird's Flight. 146 - It pretty much just tastes like roast beef, if you cook it right. 145 - And now your training is complete. 144 - John's party is gonna be off the chain. 143 - Man, I'm glad I'm not one of those. 142 - What am I supposed to do, pour it into my Lucky Charms? 141 - This date wasn't going well anyway. 140 - You don't even have any cows! 139 - I should never have asked you for the time. 138 - This is the third time this week. 137 - Yeah,well you're made of rubber. 136 - I can see the floor from here. 135 - Is there anything worse in the world? Sure, cancer, but anything else? 134 - Don't take it personally. It's a hygenic issue. 133 - The most underrated super power. 132 - So that's what, like an 8? 131 - He also said holding this boombox over my head isn't helping. 130 - I recently had a bad experience with pie. 129 - I can't wait to read the headlines on this one. 128 - No seriously please tell me what friends are for. 127 - It's all in the spiral. 126 - When I said bring a rubber this is not what I meant. 125 - To be honest I didn't expect being a doctor to be so much work. 124 - Ok first stop yelling. 123 - I was going to get him this full back Pheonix fighting Doc Ock. 122 - His name is Binky, and he's drinking away his responsibilites. 121 - Stupid is as stupid wears. 120 - A trampoline is only really fun for the first two days. 119 - I hope he hangs out with bullets. 118 - If I had arms I'd beat you up so hard. 117 - On account of the ink is sort of like a seasoning. 116 - On the plus side I'll get to check out that "Southern Hospitality" I've heard so much about. 115 - I don't see any BUBBLES with their GED. 114 - I hope you're hiding in a condom. 113 - Is he thinking about the ones he commited or the ones he's witnessed? 112 - When you're done with my stapler please put it back on my desk. 111 - You can tell this has happened before. 110 - Usually I just throw rocks at it, but today I'm on strike. 109 - The hat says "Donkey Instructor." It's funny cause donkeys already know how to be donkeys. 108 - Not to sound immature, but that skunk STINKS! 107 - All I'm saying is I appreciate your stupid sacrifices. 106 - I also don't believe in psychology. 105 - Can I have some salt for these laces? 104 - Zero to "Z"s in five minutes. 103 - Show me a man who doesn't like fake mustaches and I will show you a man with no hope in his heart. 102 - Does "Hey You" count? 101 - I still haven't opened your gift from last year. 100 - X Mas Carol. 99 - I have just the thing. 98 - Time for a light snack. GET IT?!?!?!? LIGHT. SNACK. 97 - Put that in your NOG-in! 96 - It's badluck to follow superstions on a Thursday. 95 - Well obviously I care about ME. 94 - The benefits of being a bachelor. 93 - I know you won't believe me, but this one time I had an onion. 92 - Become friends with John I guess. Either that or extortion. 91 - I'd vote for cherry, but I'm a non-voting felon. 90 - Next you're going to ask me why I bribe my congressman. 89 - He keeps the sticker on it too. 88 - Its like that scene in Ghost where they learn how to Dirty Dance. 87 - I'm a really annoying badass who talks to himself in the mirror in a nasally voice. 86 - Einstein's theory of relative violence. 85 - It depends on the type of dog really. 84 - Never hit a horse in the teeth with a gift shovel. 83 - How does the noose even stay on when he has no neck? It makes no sense! 82 - A crow walks into a bar and the bartender says "No birds in here. Can't you read the sign?" 81 - A penny saved will just get stolen. 80 - My whoopee cushion just sues you for sitting on it. 79 - Plunge away! You can plunge away. Stay all day. If you wanna. 78 - Timing is everything. 77 - When you say you want an honest answer, what do you really mean? 76 - Enough with the explanations. 75 - What I'm saying is you're ugly. 74 - How much wine can your puny glass hold? 73 - Could you hold this for a sec? 72 - Also a lot of banks. 71 - Ticket please. 70 - Guys, I totally love eating contets. 69 - It's an investment. 68 - (Insert comic strip gag here.) 67 - The Scooby Method. 66 - Racists are bigots about race. 65 - Twice the amount of money in my pocket. 64 - He's writing a kickass rap song. 63 - How we get things done. 62 - If denial is a river then deception is the flood. 61 - Bluh? 60 - But... I made tacos. 59 - This headache is killing me. 58 - Dance with me? 57 - Take my survey? 56 - I think I'm getting one right now. 55 - It had something to do with a thing, I think. 54 - Epic Crossover 53 - Candidly canine 52 - He was a good child. Lot's of hobbies. 51 - Mirror, Mirror (yes, the Star Trek episode) 50 - TV Snob 49 - Grudge Judy. 48 - Something smells like LOVE! 47 - He just stood there yelling from 3 till question mark. 46 - Pick me! 45 - Pick a card, any card 44 - Do you wonder if the color black and blue that you see is the same one I make you see? 43 - Flood warning 42 - What if I put on this old silk hat I found? 41 - You can't drive your bus and eat it too. 40 - He had it coming to him. 39 - We put the Hack in Whack. 38 - Or maybe you should just stop going to the bowling alley altogether. 37 - I keep waking up with these air-shaped bruises. 36 - The Tragic Tale of Hamlet and the Hamlets. 35 - Family bonding. 34 - Lies are like secrets you keep from the person you tell them to. 33 - My face looks almost nothing like a lobster. 32 - Cowboy logic doesn't really apply here. 31 - Remember when we were in the first panel? 30 - And where he hid the bodies. 29 - And the cops get there and you are laughing in her closet. 28 - But they don't even have feet that I can see! 27 - I was saving it for a pie eating contest I have planned for later today. 26 - Why not? This hallway is YOUR domain. 25 - I don't even know why I brought it up really. 24 - Then I stole his ridiculously large shooes. 23 - If these walls could talk that would be pretty creepy. 22 - What's the HARM -onica? 21 - Blarrrrrgh! 20 - Denial ain't just a fish floating in the toilet. 19 - How could I have known it was HER car? 18 - I got them at the flea market. From a dalmatian. 17 - You wouldn't want him to know the truth would you? 16 - You're a Libra aren't you? 15 - Have a nice trip, get it? Hello? 14 - Modern psychology. 13 - Chew on this! 12 - Yeah, but how come robot fuel is so expensive in this economy? 11 - It also has this siren! 10 - OH MY GOD THIS IS WHERE HE GOT THE NAME! 9 - But with better credit. 8 - I don't like the thrust of your trust. 7 - This pie took me four hours to ruin. 6 - Yes, but where did he get it? 5 - What's dark, wet, and totally lame? 4 - Dibs on your job after you get fired. 3 - Why my dad won't go to the beach. 2 - After winning the taco lottery. 1 - What if the dogs are just making out?

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